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EM ( my 2nd aunt) invites her whole family to OUR family vacation.
2020.08.27 16:03 H8spantsEM ( my 2nd aunt) invites her whole family to OUR family vacation.
My family and I live in Tennessee and go to Destin FL every fall. We have a house down there but every summer we take a bigger vacation. This year we decided to go down to Naples FL. This is when she invited herself. She asked my mom where we were planning on going for vacation and my mom said “I don’t quite know yet but I think Naples.” EM then went on to say stuff like “Oh when are WE going” and “what type of house are WE going to rent” Anyways as time went on and we were set on Naples, she started to emphasize the fact that she was going. Great. She is notorious for taking control and being entitled. Her 8 year old daughter is just like her and she had an 8 month old baby. Her husband was cool though. I’m going to focus on the last night of trip because it was the worst. People in story: EM: my 2nd aunt. EK: the 8 year old. Mom: my mom Me: u/H8spants For the last night we decided to go over to Miami. So, my brother, my dad, and EM’s husband all decided to go the a baseball game (this was pre-COVID) and left me, my mom, EM, EK, and the baby. So we were figuring out what we wanted to do that night and decided on staying at the hotel and swimming because the pool closed at midnight. EM was talking to some lady and she said there was a place called the boardwalk that had tons of shops and restaurants. Me and my Mom said we didn’t want to go and went to our room. About 5 minutes later we get a knock on the door. It’s none other than EM herself. EM: alright lets go! Mom: no EM, we are staying here. EM: noooooo let’s all gooo!! Mom: no EM, you can go with your kids. Me and u/H8spants are staying home. EM: Well I don’t wanna go alooooone! Mom: well then! Don’t go. EM: go ask u/H8spants if he wants to go. Mom: sighs ok. My mom proceeds to go to the other room which I’m in, already in my swim suit. Mom: do you want to go to this boardwalk thing Me: no, not necessarily. Mom: ok. Mom walks back to the door. Mom: he said he doesn’t want to go. EM: just come onnnn. We won’t be long! After about 5 minutes of arguing, my mom caves. Now we are on our way to the boardwalk. When we get there, we realize it is just bars and restaurants that are mostly popular because of their bars. As well as about 10 souvenir shops. Now, if you know anything about beach souvenir shops, it’s that they all have the exact same things. EM wanted to go in Every. Single. One. And she spent like 15-20 minutes in Every. Single. One. We were there for a good 2 and a half hours. Oh, and by the way, it wasn’t a boardwalk at all. My mom called my dad and was just ranting on everything that was happening while EM was in the last store. We were considering leaving EM and her kids and calling an Uber. When we finally got home we went to the pool. It was like 11 o’clock when we finished swimming and we were hungry but nothing was open so we decided to go to the snack machine. We made it to our room and: EK: I want a snack! Mom: ok EK, go over to your room and ask your mommy for some money for one. EK: OK. she then walked over to her room and once she walked in, we left. We got a snack and could see EK knocking on our door. Then, we ran into my dad and brother on the elavator. We went to our room and went to bed. When we woke up, we had a nice breakfast (the hotel served free breakfast) and headed back home to Tennessee. So that’s the end of the story. TL;DR: my crazy aunt invites herself to my family vacation and ruins it.
2019.09.07 23:20 ColdcoffeesA hilarious article from WWE Magazine in 2007: 101 Things Every WWE Fan Should Do Before He Dies
Alright, so during my early teen years I collected WWE magazines every month. They used to be pretty interesting and the content was engaging for my warped 13 y/o mind. As you may remember, Lars Sullivan even made the magazine once as a super-fan. Good times. One article I vividly remembered was one I thought was quite funny was the 101 Things Every WWE Fan Should Do Before He Dies - this article was written for the March 2007 edition of the magazine featuring Batista on the front cover as he prepared for his forthcoming WrestleMania match with The Undertaker. The article is particularly interesting due to its controversial/comical nature, as you'll see very early on from some of the things they were actively encouraging fans to do. So that brings me to this post, I decided to go back and find the article which spanned around 10 pages of this magazine (it was a big feature) and compile each of the 101 things. So let's get right into it, these are written WORD FOR WORD: 101 Things Every WWE Fan Should Do Before He Dies
Attend WrestleMania. If you only achieve one thing on this list, this should be it.
Sin while looking at a picture of a Diva (Vito in a dress does not count).
Train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins. Get started by working out those spaghetti legs by following Kenny Dykstra's workout regimen detailed on page 68.
Watch Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels' Iron Man match from WrestleMania XII. The two most talented grapplers of their generation, going at it for one full hour - nothing even comes close.
Attend a show at Madison Square Garden, the mecca of sports-entertainment. This is the place where the greatest bits of WWE history have gone down. Be a part of it.
Read Big Apple Takedown. Please.
Wear a WWE T-Shirt to the office on casual Friday.
Learn all the words to "Real American." Come on, you know the lyrics: "When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside, ya' gotta take a stand, it don't help to hide."
Finish Mick Foley's Have A Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks. Because few things are as chilling as Foley's firsthand account of how he ripped off his own ear.
Find an article with a working WrestleFest machine, and destroy all 10-year-olds in Royal Rumble mode. Better yet, purchase the coin-op on eBay.
Be the guy who starts a chant at WWE live event. "Striker's hardcore!"
Cut someone's hair with a pair of garden shears, like Brutus Beefcake did. It's surprisingly satisfying.
Watch every single WrestleMania, in one sitting, in chronological order.
Seek out and read Lou Thesz's autobiography, Hooker. It's the unequivocal Bible of the business, written by the man hailed by many as the greatest wrestler who ever lived.
See Hulk Hogan stride out to the ring live. Just 'cause it's a sight to behold.
Watch any of the following feuds on DVD: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat; Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon; Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper; or Hart Foundation vs. The British Bulldogs. This is the stuff to show people who don't get why you love wrestling.
Track down and watch When Worlds Collide, the groundbreaking 1994 AAA lucha libre pay-per-view that featured guys like Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero before they were stars.
See a show in St. Louis' Scottrade Center. Formerly known as the Kiel Center, the arena once hosted such greats as Pat O'Connor, Dory Funk Jr., Jack Brisco and the late Lou Thesz, and was the heart of the wrestling universe before the first WWE event was ever held. Sacred ground.
Collect every entrance theme ever recorded and string them together into a monster playlist on your iPod. Then hit play.
Host a dinner party strictly featuring dishes found in J.R.'s cook-books. And be sure to use his Slobberknocker BBQ Sauce.
Shake hands with at least one Superstar. And get the picture to prove it. While you're at it, bookmark the following: wwe.com/schedules/appearances.
Fly to Miami Beach and appear in the background on an episode of Hogan Knows Best.
Catch some Lucha action in Mexico City. Visit Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre at CMLL.com for more info.
Lay your hands on a copy of the first issue of World Wrestling Federation victory Magazine (cover date: 1983).
When everyone's favorite Superstar hits the ring, be the one person to boo. A 32-inch Spirit Squad-like megaphone from sportsteam.com ($23.25) will ensure you're heard throughout the arena.
Hug a Diva. Ask permission first, and make sure it doesn't violate the terms of your restraining orders.
Tear into a porterhouse steak at Morton's, the preferred eatery of The Rock, Triple H and Mr. McMahon himself.
Go to school or work with your face painted like either member of The Road Warriors.
Spearhead an August road trip, catching every WWE live event right up to SummerSlam, which is on August 26 at the Continental Airlines Arena in New Jersey.
Grow a Triple H-inspired man-stache. Are you man enough to wear this 'stache?
Score a Superstar autograph and prominently showcase the treasure in a plexi-glass display in your living room.
Befriend a WWE Superstar on MySpace. [editors note: It links Kamala's MySpace below]
Visit a Mean Gene's Burgers. Where can these fast food joints be found? Well... that's part of the adventure.
Wander through Pittsburgh and "accidentally" bump into the Living Legend, WWE Champion Bruno Sammartino.
Procure a dented ladder from a TLC match and use it for household chores. Do not Swanton Bomb from it after cleaning leaves from your home's gutters.
Master the perfect Dusty Rhodes impersonation. The less comprehensible your words, the better.
Attend every single WWE pay-per-view in a calendar year. Yes, of course we mean all three brands.
Get your letter published in WWE Magazine. Who knows, we might even respond.
Score your own entrance theme, and use it at least once at a party or family function.
Set food in an official WWE ring. Just watch that middle rope, jabroni.
Ride Space Mountain. Because as Ric Flair says, it may be the oldest ride in the park, but it still has the longest line.
Take a tour of Titan Tower, WWE's headquarters in Stamford, CT.
Betray one of your closest friends and start an ongoing feud, just like your favorite Superstars!
Enter a family party on a zipline, a la Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XII.
Make a pilgrimage to the ECW Arena in scenic South Philly. Then get back into your rental car real quick.
Make a Stone Cold toast at a wedding.
Raid a kid's tricycle and wrap the neon tassels around your arms, Ultimate Warrior-like, for a day. Just don't cut off circulation to your pythons, knucklehead.
Learn to play "Scotland the Brave" on the bagpipes.
Watch Rey Mysterio perform the 619.
Tear off your shirt in a public place, just like the Hulkster himself. No pre-ripping allowed.
For one day, answer every question with a loud "What?!" Hey, it worked for the Texas Rattlesnake.
Name your firstborn after a WWE Superstar. Extra points if it's Super Crazy!
Tell someone, "You're fired!" And mean it.
Watch Phantasio's only WWE match (check out our Official Book of Lists special issue if you don't get it).
Blow at least one full paycheck on WWE action figures.
Do all your last-minute holiday shopping at wweshop.com. Because even Grandpa and Grandma could use a "Vince Loves Cock" T-Shirt.
Visit Truth Or Consequences, NM, infamous hometown of Cactus Jack. Yes, it's a real place.
Wear nothing but WWE apparel for an entire month.
Memorize the lineage of the WWE Championship. If it seems like homework to you, then you're just a casual fan.
Grow a mullet and bleach it blond. Yeah, we know even Superstars don't have 'em anymore, but there was once a time when you'd be hard-pressed to find one who didn't.
Catch one of those T-shirts shot from air-guns at WWE live events. Just don't get hit in the balls with like, like ring announcer Tony Chimel did once.
Make out on the Kiss Cam with your significant other (wife, mistress, et al.) during a WWE broadcast.
Identify every WWE superstar on the cover of The Wrestling Album, WWE'S original record release from 1985.
Catch a WWE show in Japan - and try to be as quiet as everyone else in the audience.
Unlock every hidden Superstar in WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2007. That should really, really piss your friends off.
Test your mettle at an honest-to-goodness wrestling school. It's the only way you'll ever know if you have what it takes. Here's a clue: You probably don't.
Get a Superstar-inspired tattoo. Batista's back tat and Gregory Helms' Green Lantern logo are particularly sweet.
Design your own pair of tights. Kneepads optional.
Show up on TV holding a clever sign (hey, that's one down, and 100 to go sign guy!)
Land a chick half as hot as Torrie Wilson. Teach her the Stinkface.
Dress as Big Vis for Halloween. If you really mean business, a platinum Mohawk is a must.
Dine at Edge's favorite restaurant (Tampa Brickyard in Tampa, FL)
Get your hand high-fived by a WWE Superstar as he makes his way to the ring. Just don't try to hold on, or he might clobber you.
Eat an earth-worm, like The Boogeyman. Try to gross out as many people as possible.
Craft a letter to the dirt sheet kids, telling them to "Get a life."
Subscribe to WWE Magazine. And don't forget to renew. Shameless plug!
Wear a championship belt...even if you did make it yourself from boxes of macaroni.
Take home a commemorative chair from a WWE pay-per-view. They're only in the first few rots, so you'll have to land some sweet seats. Sneaking down from the nosebleeds to snatch one is cheating.
Donate some dough to a Superstar-sponsored charity, like Lita's animal welfare group, A.D.O.R.E.
Go to the grocery store in a Luchador mask, be forewarned: Shopping for fresh produce can be tough with no peripheral vision.
Call the WWE Magazine editors' hot-line (203) 947-4297 - at least once. And please, keep it clean.
Raise a pet snake and name him Damien. Or a pet bulldog and name her Matilda. Or a pet parrot and name him Frankie.
Start a fan website devoted to your favorite Superstar. Currently, no one has cornered the market for Big Dick Johnson.
Bid something at WWE Auction. And win.
Make an action figure of yourself.
Shave your head totally bald, just like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Hell yeah!
Start your own "Kiss My Ass" club. Be sure to make your old lady the first inductee. Pucker up, honey!
Subscribe to WWE 24/7. It's only available on cable, not satellite, so you may have to trade up.
Change your ringtone to a WWE Superstar's entrance theme.
Turn down the volume on Raw and commentate the matches yourself. Get a friend to disagree with you on everything, just like J.R. does with the King.
Wave an American flag attached to a two-by-four, just like that wacky Hacksaw Jim Duggan. USA! USA! USA!
Eat a WWE ice-cream bar - if you can still find one! These chocolate and cookie-covered confections were enjoyed by pre-teen '80s WWE fans everywhere, and exist in very limited quantities.
Refer to yourself in strictly third person - like The Rock or Carlito - for an entire week.
Create your own clever catchphrase and popularize it among your buddies and coworkers.
Tailgate at a WWE event. Invite us.
Crotch-chop an authority figure of your choice: librarians, school principals, uptight teachers, meter maids or parole officers. Don't blame us if it lands you in hot water.
Shape your facial hair like Jeff Hardy's.
Watch an entire episode of SmackDown in Spanish. Just press SAP on your remote control, and listen in as the action is called by Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich.
Turn a non-fan into a true beleiver.
Airbrush the hood of your car with the likeness of your favorite Diva or Superstar.
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